Tuesday, September 24, 2013

A Story of Fear

Sometimes in the scariest situations, the ones you know you can't beat, there is no other way but to run. As the old say goes, "live to fight another day". When we fear something we don't face it right off, but gradually get accustomed to living with the fear. But what about the fears you can't get accustomed to? Those fears that make you freeze in your spot, and all you can see is your fear getting closer to you which makes it even worse? Those are the fears that can make even the greatest person cower in fear, and everyone has at least one of those fears. This is one of mine.
            "Why do I put myself through this?" I asked myself as I crept through the dark castle halls, making sure to use my lantern's oil wisely. The bottles of oil were few and far between, and I didn't want to attract unwanted attention. I had no idea what to expect, the almost grotesque sounds and ambient music sending shivers down my back, as I slowly reached for another rusted door knob to check the room. As my grip on the knob got sweatier and sweatier, my entire body pushing away from the door and the unknown behind it, I pushed myself through the door way. My breath caught in my throat as I waited for the inhabitants of the castle's moans, but nothing happened. No moans came from the darkness around me, and I let my breath go in a silent sigh. After I closed the door behind me I could finally breath again as the fear subsided, albeit a little.
            As I looked around the room I could tell there was going to be something important. It was full of books but also vials of colorful liquids, jars of what I presumed were failed experiments, and other tools that were well worn. This was a nightmarish room by anyone's standards, and I wanted to get out of here as soon as possible. Although I was fearful of staying for too long, I eventually became fascinated by the notes scattered around the room.
            The notes were carefully written, highly detailed descriptions of experiments of one mean or another, but always with the same goal in mind. Immortality. It would have been a humorous thought if it were not for the fact I was in this accursed castle. Although I was literate in science, I was by no means an expert and some of the terms written on the paper were lost on me. Some time passed before I could finally pull myself away from the research notes, and I continued my scavenging for supplies. My assumption that this was an important room seemed less and less likely as I looked through the drawers and cabinets, finding only a small bottle of oil. At least that's what I felt until I found the key to the next area of the castle.
            In my excitement I quickly snatched the key without thinking, and the second I touched the icy cold metal I heard a bone chilling moan come from outside the room. My heart stopped beating for an instant as my finger gripped the key tightly, my whole body freezing in fear. Forcing myself to move, I quickly searched for anywhere I could hide, but there was nowhere to go in this room. "Maybe it would simply not look in this room?" I tried to calm myself, but it was pointless. The moans were getting louder. As the creature burst through the door, I made a final decision to try to run past it. I knew it was possible, but I had to be quick. Once the door had finally been torn off its hinges the deformed, once human thing made eye contact with me. Without a second thought, it charged at me.

            I took one slash by its clawed hand which made me scream in fear, then as I made it into the hall just by the sheer force of its strike, it struck me again with the killing blow. There was a moment of silence as I stared at the screen with the text "Think before running..." floating mockingly in my face. "Are you serious?" I groaned as I tried to remember when I last saved my game. Realizing it was at least half an hour of play time, I sighed. There was no way I was going to do that again anytime soon.

8 comments:

  1. I love this story! I was on the edge of my seat, I couldn't stop reading, and when it was over I wanted more. Very creative. Now I want to go play video games. Thank you.

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  2. I need to know what game this is. I think I know but i'm not sure. Loved the story though! Very good. I might have saw a typo in the first line. I found that I could really see what you were writing! Jolly good! :)

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  3. Right from the get go, the first line of your story grabs me. I think you did great with details, there was not one point in the story where you lost me. I also did not find any typo's or sentances that were unclear to me. Your story made me really think about why video games might be so seductive to someone.

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  4. This really had me on the edge of my seat from the beginning, all the way through the end. I was shocked at the end when you said it was a video game, it must be a pretty intense game. You were very descriptive throughout the essay. I think there was one typo in the beginning “as the old say goes" I think "say" should be "saying". Overall I think you did a great job.

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  5. I am not a gamer myself but i loved the detail in your story. It made me feel like i was actually there. It was very well put together, and written. I wouldnt change anything about it! Great job!

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  6. Wow what an adventure!!! I thought you were on one of those shows that goes through haunted houses. Im not a gamer, but it got me interested. Im not sure if I found any errors, I would probably have to look hard to find one. Great discription of the rooms, and making it sound like you were really in this creepy castle.

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  7. This narrative contains solid detail, clean construction of a beginning, middle and end. You dwell in comfort when it comes to writing, yes? :-) I think the first paragraph drags and is sort of smokey in relation to your very crisp, detailed writing throughout. "Fear" is repetitive and I'm not sure you need the hard-sell. Either cut the first paragraph in half or toy with cutting it completely. Good Work!

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